그레이 아나토미 나레이션(narration) + 인상깊은 대사들

**S10e5 : I bet it stung

Here's what I learn
my first day at medical school...

think long and hard before choosing
to become a surgeon. (alarm beeping)

(click, beeping stops)
It takes 100% commitment.

You have to be on your "A" game

every single time you walk into that O.R.
(fusses)

When patients are lying
on your table

completely at your mercy,

they need to know that when
you make that first cut...

you know what you're doing.
(snip)

(crying)

No other specialty requires the time,
the focus,

the complete dedication...
(squeaks)

except maybe being a mom.


** 메레디스 정신차리라고 냉정한 말 하는 크리스티나

클쓰-I'm sorry.

I really wish you could
have been in there with me.

멜-I worked my ass off to
do that surgery with you,

and you stole it from me. That was low...

클쓰-Meredith, you were unprepared,
you were unfocused,

and you were late.

I didn't steal that surgery from you.

I rescued that surgery from you.

- Oh, I...
- Because you couldn't do it.

멜-I understand that you believe
you are god's gift to medicine,

but I am every bit as talented and competent

a surgeon as you are.

클쓰-No... you're not.

I'm sorry...

but you're not.

And that's...

that's okay.

You have different priorities now.

You cut back on your clinical hours,

you log in less time in the O.R.

I mean, you don't do research, and I get it.

I mean, you have Zola and baby Bailey, and...

and you want to be a good mom.

멜-I don't believe you.

You are saying that I can't
be a good surgeon and a mom.

클쓰-Of course not. Bailey is a mom, and she...

I mean, she was fantastic in there today.

- Then what are you saying?
- I'm saying...

(inhales sharply)

I'm s... Okay. Bailey never let up.

Okay, she, like, lives here.

Callie never let up.

Ellis Grey never let up.

And I know you don't want to be your mother.

I'm saying...

I'm saying...

you and I started running down the same road

at the same time,

and at a certain point you let up.

You slowed down.

And don't say that I don't
support that, because I do.

You made your choices,
and they are valid choices.

But don't pretend they
don't affect your skills.

You... are a very good surgeon. It's...

We're in different places now.

And that's...

okay.

Meredith) What if your focus splits?
•
What if you can't be all in?

Are you left with nothing at all?

Maybe you just need to find a different path.
Here's what's horrifying...

what if you can't give
a hundred percent?

Maybe you just need to go
back to the beginning...

And start all over again.
 

 Here's what I learned the first day at medical school:
think long and hard
before choosing to become a surgeon.
It takes 100 percent commitment.

You have to be on your A game every time
you walk into that OR.

When patients are lying on your table,
completely at your mercy,
they need to know that when you make that first cut,
you know what you're doing.

No other specialty requires the time,
the focus, the complete dedication,
except maybe being a mom.

What if your focus splits?
What if you can't be all in?
Are you left with nothing at all?
Maybe you just need to find a different path.
Here's what horrifying:
what if you can't give a 100 percent?
Maybe you just need to go back
to the beginning and start all over again.

 **s10e7

What's important is that you can't let

the fear of the surprise.

Stop you from getting dressed up...

And wandering up to a stranger's house

to ask the question.

So what'll it be...

trick...

or treat?

**s10e9
We've all done things we aren't proud of.

I understand that.

I know nobody's perfect.

But how do you live with it?

How do you get up every morning
and face the world,

knowing you could've done better?

That you should've done better?

Is being sorry enough?

Can an apology actually heal our wounds?

Ease our pain?

**10e11 멜 -클쓰 싸움.
Sometimes, the key to making progress

is to recognize how to take that
very first step.

Then you start your journey.

You hope for the best.

And you stick with it,

day in,하루

하루 종일 .

Even if you're tired,

even if you wanna walk away,
you don't.

Because you are a pioneer.

But nobody ever said

it'd be easy.

멜 - He's not the guy who delivered my baby.

클쓰 - Yeah, well, we're not the same
as when we were interns either.

멜 - Well, I understand that.

But he is aggressive and mean.

I don't know, I mean,

he spends a lot of time on your service.

Do you think he's trying to be like you?

Or... do you notice that?

클쓰 - I'm sorry.

Are you saying I taught him to be mean?

That's what he's learned from me?

멜 - No.

클쓰 - Because a little edge is not the worst thing for a surgeon.

멜 - I understand that.

클쓰 - And I am not mean.

I am effective.

멜 - Are you implying that I'm not?

클쓰 - Well, no, you just said I ruined a resident.

멜 - No, that is not what I said.

I said something is off about Ross.

클쓰 - Well, maybe he got tired of people thinking

he was soft around the edges.

Maybe his focus is being a doctor,

and not a flight attendant.

And my job is his surgical skill,

not his personality.



** 에이프릴이 자매들에게

And stop... calling me... Duckie!

I'm not Duckie anymore.

My acne cleared up years ago.

I got rid of my braces in college.

I-I wear contacts. I use makeup.

I did years of physical therapy to correct

my pigeon toes, and in
case you haven't noticed,

I've learned how to condition my hair.

I'm not your...

hopeless, ugly little sister anymore.

I am not an ugly duckling.

I'm a swan.

**S10e12

멜 - and I may have something to prove,

but... I will never be
as arrogant as you are.

클쓰 - You know what, Meredith?

Go to hell.

I have listened to your crap for weeks now,

and I'm not gonna stand here
and take it anymore.

클쓰 - You tell me how you can give

100% to your family and 100% to your job.

Uh, it-it's categorically impossible...

멜 - Because you keep screwing with my research.
클쓰 - Oh, god, Mer.

My borrowing your printer had nothing to do

with your dead sheep.

Did you ever think maybe
your research is failing all on its own?
멜- Right, because I'm a terrible doctor. We've established that.

클쓰 - No, I never said that.

멜 - You said that...

클쓰 - I never said that!

But you said I was a terrible person...

over and over...

because I don't agree with you.

Because I'm committed to my work.

Because I don't want a baby?

When did I become such a monster to you?

멜- i can compete as a mother
and as a surgeon.

You just don't think I can
compete against you.

클쓰-You can't, because, Mer,
this is all I do.

This is all I want to do.

So don't whine to me because
you made a decision you regret now.

멜-You think I regret my family?!

클쓰-I think you feel left behind.
And that sucks for you,

but no one forced you out of the game.

멜-I am not out of the game!

I just won't sabotage my friends to win it!

클쓰- Oh. Oh, is that what I do?
멜- That's what sharks do.

You called it our first day.

클쓰-Well, as I recall,
I was talking about you.

멜-How long have you been sleeping with Shane?

He blushes at an exposed ankle.

He saw you in your underwear
and didn't bat an eye.

클쓰-That is none of your business!

멜-You don't have to justify it to me.

He's just hooking up with the best teacher

to make sure he can get everything he can.

It's what you did all through med school

and all through intern year.

Congratulations.

You've become the thing you worship.

클쓰-And you became the thing we laughed at.

클쓰- How dare you say I haven't changed.

멜 I don't have to justify my
choices to you, not one.

클쓰 How dare you say I am the same
person I was when I got here,

before I knew Burke and Owen and you.

Your life looks different

because it's filled with
houses and husbands and kids.

And my mine looks the same,
but I'm not.

I've changed. I'm doing this alone.

And that's...

that's just as hard as what you're doing.

But I thought I would at least have you.

멜 I'm so jealous of you,
I wanna set things on fire.

You did what I tried to do, and I couldn't.

And you don't even know how you did it.

You have nothing but time and focus.

You're not who we were when we got here.

You are who we both set out to be.

멜 And you've become something...

we never saw coming.

You are as good a mother

as you are a surgeon.

And I'm happy for you.

클쓰- But we are growing apart.
멜- I know.

And I don't wanna compete
with you, but I do,

because we're supposed to push each other

and make each other better forever.

- Since the day we met, right?
클쓰 - Right.

- Okay. So then...
- God, I know. I'm so glad because...


Failure is an inevitability.
Every scientist was told no, over and over.
The ones we remember,
the ones who changed our lives:
the Curies, the Salks, the Barnards.

They're the ones who wouldn't take no for an answer.
Failure is inevitable.
Unavoidable.
But failure should never get the last word.
You have to never take no for an answer
and take what's coming to you.
Never give in.
Never give up.
Stand up.
Stand up and take it.

**s10e13

클쓰 - But how was I supposed to pretend

that what just happened wasn't
the coolest thing I'd ever seen?

[laughs] Cristina...

You know, I've always been
on the fence about Kepner,

but now I'm not just a friend, I'm a fan.

Every day, a surgeon makes decisions
that can go one of two ways:
either very good or very, very, very bad.
The problem is the epically great decisions
and the epically bad ones look exactly the same
when you're making them.

Looking back,
it's easy to see
when a mistake has been made,
to regret a choice
that seemed like a decent idea at the time,

but if we used our best judgment
and listened to our hearts,
we're more likely to see
that we chose wisely and avoided the deepest,
most painful regret of them all --
the regret that comes
from letting something amazing pass you by.”

**S10e14
Cancer is a biological bully,

always picking a fight,

and it'll sneak up on you.

The body never even sees it coming...

Because cancer is the master of surprises.

You can try to hide from a bully.
But hiding won't work for long.

There's really only one way to win.
You have to fight back.

And if you're lucky enough
to get out alive...

Take just a moment to celebrate...

before you put your guard back up,

ready to fight the next one.

**s10e15

You know your tailbone?

[yawns]

It used to be a tail.

That pink part in the corner of your eye?

It used to be a third eyelid.

The appendix used to help us

digest tough foods.

Now it does nothing.

The story of our evolution

is the story of what we leave behind,
what we've discarded.

Our bodies only hang on to
the things we absolutely need.

The things we no longer have use for...

We give up...
We let go.

**스테파니가 잭슨에게-
Well, you do that if you want to. I'm not.

I'm not going to feel

sad

or angry or pitiable for one more minute,

because I'm not gonna care about you.

So, if I don't say hello

or make small talk on the elevator

or acknowledge your birthday

or even acknowledge you're alive,

it's because, to me, you just exist.

Because I don't care.

Meredith: Why does it feel so good to get rid of things?
To unload? To let go?

Maybe because when we see
how little we actually need to survive...

It makes us realize how
powerful we actually are.
To strip down to only what we need.

To hang on only to what
we can't do without.

What we need...
Not just to survive...
But to thrive.

**스테파니가 잭슨에게
what the hell I was all the time ?

**s10e16

Transition is movement

from one part of a life
to a whole new one.

And it can feel like one long,
scary, dark tunnel...

But you have to come out
the other side...

Because what's
been waiting there...

Might be glorious.

**S10e18

Meredith: It's a known fact

that doctors make the worst patients.
We ignore our symptoms

until we're facedown on the ground.

We like to think
we're a different species than our patients.

But none of us are invincible.

Eventually, we have to face

the fact that we're human...
And that sometimes...

Even the mightiest of us need help.

**S10e19

MEREDITH: The Harper Avery
is one of the highest awards
Ripped By mstoll

a surgeon can earn.

They always make the calls
to the nominees

on the same Friday of the same month

at 8:00 a.m. East coast time.

5:00 a.m. In Seattle .

My mother was nominated five times.
I've been through this before.
MEREDITH:
If the phone rings, everything changes.

Suddenly, you're a superstar.

If it doesn't... I don't know.

My mom was a superstar.
She always got the call.

My mom didn't think she'd win.

She thought
it was a popularity contest,

and she wasn't popular.

She was a woman and a fellow,

and her arrogance could
rub people the wrong way.

She hadn't allowed herself to
imagine the possibility of winning

because she wanted it too much.

And when they called my mom's name,
she was genuinely shocked.

It was validation
of all her hard work and sacrifice.

She came home and told me
she didn't win the Harper Avery.

She earned it.

**s10e20

Meredith: Surgery is a solo act.

We step up to the table with
a scalpel in our hand,

- and we go it alone.

The isolation can start to
define you.

Because even though you're
surrounded by a team...

What it really comes down to is

- your training, your choices, your wits...

Your hands, your stitch.
- It comes down to just you.

Meredith: Surgeons are trained to go

it alone, to be solo artists,

to be Mavericks...
both in and out of the O.R.

But the truth is, we are never alone.

We stand on the shoulders of those
who came before us.

We stand side-by-side
with the colleagues who have supported us,
prepared us...

For the moment that every
surgeon lives for...

When it all comes down to your training,
your choices,

your wits, your hands,
your stitch...

When it all comes down to you.

**S10e21
Over the past 20 years,

one of the most valuable tools a doctor
has is the algorithm.

Your patient's main complaint
goes into a box...

And then the formula helps
you decide what to do next.

But what happens when the problem
doesn't fit into a box?

Well...

You're suddenly on your own, unexpectedly,

with about a thousand paths to choose from.

So, what do you do?

How do you decide?

When you're left in the dark?

How do you make sure

you're not making the worst mistake
of someone's life?

You close your eyes...

You block out everyone
and everything around you...

And pray that the voice
inside you...

Is right.

And pray that the voice
inside you...

Is right.

**S10e22
Sometimes, you just
need to get out of town,

get a new perspective.

But you can't always see that
you need a new perspective

because you, well,
need a new perspective

to be able to see that.

It's complicated.

Open your eyes.

What do you see?

More possibilities?

Does your new view
give you more hope?

That's the goal.

Although it doesn't always
work out that way.

Sometimes, a shift in perspective

just makes you see
what you've lost.

**s10e23

Meredith: Every action has an
equal and opposite reaction.

Emergency rooms are kept in business

by people who've learned
that lesson the hard way...

skydivers, bull riders...

People whose bold ideas can often result

in broken bones and smushed spleens.

Surgeons are trained to deal
with the fallout of bold ideas.

We pick up the pieces and do our
best to fit them back together.

The thing about the bold moves...

They're terrifying.

Could end in nothing but
tears and broken bones.

And that's exactly what
makes them so damned exciting.

**s10e24

You know how people say,

"who knows? I could get hit
by a bus tomorrow"?

That seems pretty farfetched...

Until you have a friend
who got hit by a bus.

The point is, we never know
what kind of day is coming.

Cristina: Whenever we think
we know the future...

even for a second...

it changes.

Sometimes the future changes quickly
and completely...

and we're left only with the choice
of what to do next.

We can choose to be afraid of it...

[sighs]

to stand there, trembling...

not moving...

assuming the worst
that can happen.

[sighs]

Or we step forward...

Into the unknown...

And assume it will be brilliant.

**s7e1
every cell in human body regenerates, on averagy. every seven years
like snakes In our own way,
we shed our skin.

Biologically,
we're brand-new people.

We may look the same.
We probably do.

The change isn't visible...

At least not in most of us.

But we're all changed...

Completely...

Forever.
When we say things like,

"people don't change,"
It drives scientists crazy...

Because change is literally

The only constant
in all of science.

Energy...

Matter...

It's always changing...

Morphing...

Merging...

Growing...

Dying.

It's the way people try not to
change that's unnatural...

The way we cling
to what things were

Instead of letting them be
what they are...

The way
we cling to old memories

Instead of forming new ones...

The way
we insist on believing...

Despite every
scientific indication...

That anything
in this lifetime is permanent.

Change is constant.
How we experience change...

That's up to us.

It can feel like death...

Or it can feel like
a second chance at life.

If we open our fingers,

Loosen our grips

Go with it...

It can feel
like pure adrenaline...

Like at any moment...

We can have another chance
at life...

Like at any moment...

We can be born
all over again.

**s7e2

When you're hit with
30,000 ampers of electricity,

you feel it.
And cause massive internal injuries

It can make you
forget who you are.

It can change your life forever.

Eventually...

The pain will go away,

the shock will wear off...

To recover from something
you never saw coming.

But sometimes,
the odds are in your favor.

If you're in just the right place

at just the right time...

You can take a hell of a hit...

And still have a
shot at surviving.

* * S7 E4
We become territorial.
We learn to compete.
We seek shelter.

Most important of all?
We reproduce.

sometimes biology can turn on us,
though.
Biology sucks sometimes,
Biology says that we are who
we are from birth,

That our d.N.A. Is set in stone,

Unchangeable.
Our d.N.A doesn't account for
all of us, though.

We develop new traits...

Become less territorial.

We stop competing.

We learn from our mistakes.

We face our greatest fears.

For better or worse,

We find ways to become more
than our biology.

The risk, of course...

Is that we can change too much...

to the point, we don't
recognize ourselves.

Finding our way back can
be difficult.

There's no compass, no map.

We just have to close our eyes,

Take a step, And hope to god we'll get there.

** S7E5

they train doctors slowly.

They watch us practice on frogs...

And pigs, and dead people,

And then live people.

They drill us relentlessly.

They raise us like children.

And eventually, they take a cold,
hard boot,

And they kick us out of the nest.


We all want to grow up.

We're desperate to get there,

To grab all the opportunities
we can...

To live.

We're so busy trying to get
out of that nest...

We don't think about the fact

That it's going to be
cold out there...

Really freakin' cold.

Because growing up

Sometimes means leaving
people behind.

And by the time we stand on
our own two feet...

We're standing there alone.

**s7E7
Question:

When was the last time
a complete stranger

took off her clothes in front of you,
pointed to a big purple splotch
on her back and asked,

- "What the hell is this thing?"
If you're a normal person,
the answer is, hopefully, never.

If you're a doctor,
the answer is probably,

"About five minutes ago."

People expect doctors
to have all of the answers.

The truth is

we love to think that we have
all of the answers, too.

Basically,
doctors are know-it-alls.

Until something comes along
that reminds us we're not.

We're all
looking for answers.

In medicine...

... in life...

... in everything.

Sometimes,
the answers we're looking for

have been hiding
just below the surface.

Other times, we find answers
when we didn't even realize

we were asking the question.

[Meredith] Sometimes,
the answers can catch us

completely by surprise.

[Meredith] And sometimes,

even when we find the answer
we've been looking for...

[Meredith]... we're still left with
a whole hell of a lot of questions.

 
** S7 E8
The human body
is a highly pressurized system.

The blood pressure
measures the force of blood

pulsating through the arteries.

It's important to
keep this pressure regulated.

 Low or inadequate pressure

can cause weakness or failure.
If the pressure
continues to increase,

a closer examination is called for.

It's when the pressure

gets too high
that problems really occur.

Because it's the
best indicator

that something is going terribly wrong.


Every pressurized
system needs a relief valve."

There has to be a way
to reduce the stress, the tension...

before
it becomes too much to bear.

There has
to be a way to find relief.

Because if the pressure
doesn't find a way out...

... it will make one.
It will explode.

It's the pressure we put on
ourselves that's the hardest to bear.

The pressure
to be better than we are.

The pressure to be
better than we think we can be

It never, ever lets up.

It just builds
and builds and builds.

**S7E9
We doctors take pride
in the fact

that we can basically sleep
standing up...

[pop music plays]

... anytime, anywhere.

] But it's a false pride
because the truth is...

... after about 20 hours without sleep...

... you might as well just come
to work drunk, doctor or not.

So it's no wonder that fatal

medical errors increase at night,

when we doctors are,

proudly, sleeping on our feet.

Recently,
our communal pride has been shattered

and our egos have been wounded
by new laws...

that require that we sleep
all day before we work all night.

We're not happy about it.

But as someone who may one day
need medical care,

you really should be.

Under the cover
of darkness...

... people do things they'd never
do under the harsh glare of day.

Decisions feel wiser.

People feel bolder.

* 스타크-Medicine has a hierarchy for a reason!

But when the sun rises...

... you have to take responsibility

for what you did in the dark...

and face yourself
under the cold, harsh...

[Cristina moaning]

- [Meredith]... light of day.

S7
**s7e10

The first 24 hours
after surgery are critical.

Every breath you take,
every fluid you make

is meticulously recorded and analyzed,

celebrated or mourned.

But what about the next 24 hours?

What happens when
that first day turns to two,

and weeks turn into months?

Surgery
is when you get saved,

but post-op, after surgery,

Is when you heal.

But what if you don't?

**멜-오웬
I think you're reckless
with your own life

and today you were reckless
with a patient's life.

I don't care who you are,

I don't want that in my OR, and I
do not want that around my wife,

who is struggling just to hold on.

Your wife is struggling
just to hold on

because you married her

and let it be OK
for her to completely fall apart.

What is Cristina gonna do when she
gets back from her fishing trip tonight?

Tomorrow, next week,

And she needs to work.

Because surgery is who we are.

You told a guy with a gun to shoot you.
That is who you are.

- What the hell does that have to do?
- You are fearless.

And I don't mean that in a good way.

Most people don't tell the guy
with the gun to shoot them.

Most people are like Cristina!
Most people are afraid.

So, what she needs isn't what you need.
She isn't you, Meredith.

**S7e11

] To a degree,
medicine is a science.

But I would argue
that it's also an art.

 The doctors who see medicine
as science only?

You don't want them by your side
when your bleeding won't stop,

or when your child is screaming in pain.

The clinicians
go by the book.

- The artists follow their guts.

[Meredith] The artists feel your pain.

And they go to extremes to make it stop.

Extreme measures.

That's where science ends,
and art begins.

Surgery is extreme.

We cut into your body, take out pieces
and put what's left back together.

Good thing life
doesn't come with a scalpel,

because if it did,
when things started to hurt,

we would just cut and cut and cut.

The thing is,
what we take away with a scalpel...

... we can't ever get back.

So, like I said...

... good thing

**s7e12

peopele are really romantic

about the beginning things.

the world of posibility.
but no matter what new adventure

you're embarking on.

you still you.

you bring you

into every new begining in your life.

so, how different it can it posibly be?

It's all anybody wants, right,

Clean slate... A new beginning?
Like that's gonna be any easier.

ask the guy pushing the boulder up the hill.

Nothing's easy about starting over.

Nothing at all.

**s7e13

Doctors practice deception all the time.

We give vague answers to hard questions.

We don't talk about post-op pain.

We say, "you'll experience some discomfort."

If you didn't die...

we tell you, "the surgery went well."

But the placebo has to be

the doctor's greatest deception.

Half of our patients, we tell the truth.

The other half...

we pray that the placebo effect's real.

And we tell ourselves that
they'll feel better anyhow,

believing help's on the way,

when in fact...

we're leaving them to die.
Doctors practice deception every day...

on our patients...

on their families.
But the worst deception
we practice is on ourselves...

Which is why sometimes,

it takes us a while to realize...

that the truth has been
in front of us the whole time.

**s7e14
Meredith] One of the hardest lessons
as a doctor is learning to prioritize.

We're trained to do all we can
to save life and limb,

but if cutting off a limb
means saving a life we learn to do it,

without hesitation.

It's not an easy lesson to learn. And
it always comes down to one question:

What are the stakes?

What do we stand to gain or lose?
At the end of the day we're just
gamblers, trying not to bet the farm.

Surgery is a high-stakes game.
But no matter how high the stakes,
sooner or later

you're just gonna
have to go with your gut.

And maybe, just maybe,

that'll take you right where you were
meant to be in the first place.

 

 

 **s7e16

 Everyone figures doctors are

the most responsible
people they know.

They hold lives in their hands.
They're not flakes.

 
They don't loose track
of important details

or make stunningly
bad judgment calls.

We are responsible...

with our patients.

The problem is...

we blow it all out at work.

In our own lives,
we can't think things through.

We don't make
the sound choice.

We did that all day
at the hospital.

When it comes to ourselves,
we've got nothing left.

 And is it worth it...

being responsible?

'Cause if you take your vitamins...

Of course.

...and pay your taxes,

and never cut the line,

the universe still
gives you people to love,

and then lets them slip through
your fingers like water.

And then what have you got?

Vitamins... and nothing.

**s7e17
Renegades. Rule breakers.
Gangsters with scalpels.

This is the way we like
to think of ourselves.

It makes us feel badass,

sexy.
Problem is, it's not exactly true.

At heart, we're
rule followers, sheep.

We don't break protocol.
We follow it to a "T."

Because if we
don't follow protocol,

our patients die.

And then we're no longer badass.

We're just bad.

It's every doctor's dilemma...

do you play it safe
and follow protocol...
Or take a risk
and invent a new one?

There can be reward in risk.

There can also be fallout.

Still, you need to buck the system

every once in a while.

Bet big.

And when you get
the results you want?

There's no better feeling
in the world.

But when you don't?

**s7e19

After a trauma

your body is at its most vulnerable.

Response time is critical.

So you're suddenly surrounded by people...
Doctors, nurses...

Specialists, technicians.

Surgery is a team sport...

everyone pushing for the finish line...

Putting you back together again.

You're retraining your brain.

But surgery is a trauma in and of itself.

And once it's over, the real healing begins.

Recovery is not a team sport.
It's a solitary distance run.

It's long, it's exhausting...

and it's lonely as hell.

The length of your recovery

is determined by
the extent of your injuries...

And it's not always successful.
No matter how hard we work at it...

Some wounds might never fully heal...

You might have to adjust to
a whole new way of living.

Things may have changed too radically...
To ever go back to what they were.

It might not even recognize yourself.

It's like you haven't recovered
anything at all.
You're a whole new person

with a whole new life.

**s7e21
We've all heard the saying.

It's one of those things we learn
in seventh grade science class.

Adapt or die.

Adapting isn't easy, though.

You have to fight your competition,
fend off their attacks.
You do what you need to do to survive.

Adapt or die.

As many times as we've heard it,
the lesson doesn't get easier.

Problem is... we're human.

We want more than just to survive.
We want love.
We want success.
We want to be the best that we can be.

So we fight like hell
to get those things.

Anything else feels...
like death.

**S7E22

I always said
I'd be happier alone.

I'd have my work, my friends.

But someone in your life all the time?

More trouble than it's worth.
Apparently, I got over it.
***클쓰 아기 안갖겠다는 이유

I am not carrying
your hopes and dreams, no!
I don't want a baby.

I don't want one.

I don't hate children.
I respect children.

I think they should
have parents who want them.

Lt'll be a baby! I'm not a monster.
If I have a baby, I'll... I'll love it!

That's the problem.

That you'll love it. That's a problem
that we can work with.

- I'm sorry, are you laughing right now?
- No. No, I'm just... I'm not. I just...

- I love you.
- What is so?

- Are you even listening to me?
- Yes.

I'm just trying to figure out
some kind of a compromise.

You know what? There is no compromise.

You don't have half a baby!
I don't want one!

OK, it isn't about work,
this isn't a scheduling conflict.

- I don't wanna be a mother!
- Cristina, do you love me?

- Of course I do.
- Do you trust me?

- I... Yes!
- You'd be a great mother.

You would. I know you don't
believe me, but it is true.

Just sit with this for a little while,

this terrible idea
that you might love a baby.

Just, for me, sit with it.

Did you even hear?
~~~~~~~~
I'm saying no!!!!!!

*************끝
There's a reason
I said I'd be happy alone.

It wasn't 'cause
I thought I'd be happy alone.

It was because I thought if I loved
someone, and then it fell apart...

... I might not make it.

It's easier to be alone.

Because what if you learn
that you need love...

... and then you don't have it?

What if you like it?

And lean on it?

What if you shape your life around it,

and then...

... it falls apart?

Can you even survive that kind of pain?

Losing love
is like organ damage.

It's like dying.

The only difference is...

... death ends.

This...

... it could go on forever.

**s8e2

You think that true love is the only thing

that can crush your heart...

the thing that will take your life

and light it up...

or destroy it.

Then...

you become a mother.

**s8e3
You work,

you study, you prepare...

Months and years leading to one day...

the day when you step up.

On that day, you have to
be ready for anything.

But there's one thing you can
never quite prepare for...

The day when you step down.

Sometimes it happens in an instant.

We step up.

We become a leader. We see a path forward.
We see a path, and we take it...

even when we have no idea where we're going.

 **s8e5
The human body is designed to compensate for lose

It does,so it no longer needs the things that can't have.

But sometimes the lose is so great,

and the body can't compensate on its own.

That when surgeons get involved.

We're so hopeful at the beginning of things.

It seems like there's only a world to be gained...

Not lost.

They say the inability to accept loss is a form of insanity.
It's probably true.

But sometimes...

It's the only way to stay alive.

**S8e6

As babies, we were easy. One cry meant you were hungry,
another you were tired.
It's only as adults that we become difficult.
We start to hide our feelings, put up walls.
It gets to the point where we never really know how anyone thinks or feels.
Without meaning to, we become masters of disguise.

It's not always easy to speak your mind,
sometimes you need to be forced to do it.
Sometimes, it's better to just keep things to yourself,
though, play dumb, even when your whole body's aching to come clean.
So you shut your mouth, keep your secret,
and find other ways to keep yourself happy.

**s8e7
Surgeons can't be lazy, the risks are too great.
The second we stop pushing ourselves,
something terrible happens.
Something we never see coming.

So we may not always be winners.
But we're not lazy.
We take chances.
We go for broke.(ex한방)
We swing for the fences.
And sometimes, yeah, we strike out.
But sometimes, ya get a home run.”

**s8e8
Say you're in the O.R. repairing a vena cava,
when suddenly, everything goes to hell.
So you cut this, suture that and soon that crappy situation is a thing of the past.

Too bad you can't meet all of life's challenges with a surgical scalpel.
I mean, you could try. But I'm pretty sure that'd be considered assault.

It's a little bit horrifying
just how quickly everything can fall to crap.

Sometimes it takes a huge loss to remind you of what you care about the most.
Sometimes you find yourself becoming stronger as a result, wiser,
better-equipped to deal with the next big disaster that comes along.
Sometimes. But not always.

**S8e10

Victims of a sudden impact are some of the hardest to treat.
It’s not just the collision that injures them,
it’s everything after, the centrifugal force keeps them moving;
tossing them from vehicles, throwing them through windshields,
slamming their internal organs into the skeleton,
their bodies are injured over and over again.

So there’s no way to know how much damage is
actually been done until they stop.

You can't prepare for a sudden impact.
You can't brace yourself.
It just hits you.
Out of nowhere.
And suddenly the life you knew before is over.
Forever.

**s8e11
Have you ever had the starring role in a play? A solo
in a recital? All eyes on you. Waiting for you to do

what they came to see. Feeling the incredible
pressure to perform.
There was a time when they
used to call operating rooms an operating theater.

It still feels like one. Scores of people get ready for
the show, the sets are arranged, there are
costumes, masks, props, everything has to be
rehearsed, choreographed, all leading to the
moment when the curtain goes up.

You know what
they say about Carnegie Hall? There is only one way
to get there.
If only life was just a dress rehearsal..
And we had time for do-overs...

We'd be able to
practice and practice every moment until we got it
right.
Unfortunately. every day of our lives is its own
performance.
It seems like even when we get the
chance to rehearse and prepare and practice, we're
still never quite ready for life's grand moments.

**s8e12
"There's nothing else we can do for you." These are
the last words a surgeon wants to tell a patient.
Giving up doesn't come easy to us, so we do
everything in our power not to.
For surgeons "lost cause" just means "try a little harder".

When do you
throw in the towel(항복 ), admit that a lost cause is
sometimes just that?
There comes a point when it
all becomes too much, when we get too tired to
fight anymore.
So we give up.

That's when the real
work begins, to find hope where, there seems to be
absolutely none at all.

**S8e13

The baby you have is the baby you were destined to have.
It was meant to be.
That's what all the adoption people tell you, anyway.
I'd like to think it's true.
But everything else in the world seems so completely random.
What if, one little thing,
I said, or did could have made it all fall apart?
What if I'd chosen another life for myself, or another person?

We might have never found each other.
What if I'd been raised differently?
What if my mother had never been sick?
What if I'd actually had a good father
? What if? What if?...What..if?

Your life is a gift. Accept it.
No matter how screwed up
or painful it seems to be.

Some things are going to work out
as if they were destined to happen.
As if they were just meant to be.

**s8e14
There are times in our lives when love really does
conquer all: exhaustion, sleep deprivation
anything. And then there are those times when it
seems like love brings us nothing but pain.

We're
always looking for ways to ease the pain.

Sometimes we ease the pain by making the best of
what we have.

Sometimes it's by losing ourselves in
the moment. And sometimes all we need to do to
ease the pain is call a simple truce.

**s8e15

When you've tried everything, but that headache won't go away,
you can't stop coughing, the swelling won't go down...
That's when you turn to a professional.
As surgeons, we spend years developing skills of perception
that allow us to see exactly what the problem is.

Trouble is, sometimes all that time spent developing
those skills of perception can leave a person
with an extremely narrow point of view.

And how are you supposed to argue with someone
who has science on their side?

Actually, finding out that you've been looking at things
all wrong can be sort of liberating.

And suddenly you see new potential,
new possibilities where you'd never seen them before.

And that's all fine when a hopeless situation suddenly
looks good.

Unfortunately, sometimes it goes the other way.

**S8e16
As surgeons we're trained to consult with each other
to get opposing views.
We even encourage patients to seek second opinions.

But why seek a second opinion
when you know that you're right?

Cause if we're honest with ourselves,
surgeons are more like cowboys.

We're more likely to go it alone.
You can seek the advice of others,
surround yourself with trusted advisers.

But in the end, the decision is always yours, and yours alone.
And when it's time to act, and you're all alone with your back
against the wall... the only voice that matters is the one
in your head.
The one telling you what you probably already knew.
The one that's almost always right.

**s8e17
We're trained to be vigilant. To chase down the problem.
To ask all the right questions. To find the root cause,
until we know exactly what it is.

And we can confront it. It takes an extreme amount of caution,
or we can overstep ourselves. We can create problems
where none exist.
-
Our intentions are always pure, we always want to do what's right.
But we also have the drive to push boundaries,
so we're in danger of taking things too far.

We're told to do no harm, while we're trained to cut you open with a knife.
So, we do things, when we should have left well enough alone.

Because it's hard to admit when there's no problem to treat.
To let it alone, before we make it so much worse.
Before we cause such terrible damage.

**s8e19

0
“Every little kid knows the words to the song:
the foot bone's connected to the leg bone, the leg bone's connected to the knee bone.
In med school, you learn it's a little more complicated than that.
But still, the song's not wrong. Everything is connected.
The foot bone's connected to the leg bone.

The leg bone's connected to the knee bone.
And if you take one piece out...
the rest just falls apart.

The human body is made up of systems that keep it alive.
There's the one that keeps you breathing, and the one that keeps you standing,
the one that makes you hungry,
and the one that makes you happy.

They're all connected. Take a piece out, and everything else falls apart.
And it's only when our support systems look like they might fail us,
that we realize how much we depended on them all along.

**s8e20

When you're a kid, you always want things to stay the same.
The same teacher, the same house, the same friends...
Being a surgeon is no different. You get used to the same Attendings,
same scrub nurses,
the same hospital.

Of course, that all changes the minute fifth year comes around.
And you have to find a new job.

It's one of those things people say: you can't move on until you've let go of the past.

Letting go is the easy part. It's the moving on that's painful.
So sometimes we fight it, try and keep things the same.
Things can't stay the same, though.
At some point you just have to let go, move on.
Because no matter how painful it is, it's the only way we grow.

**S8e21

Picture this - you've spent the last five years of your residency training to become a surgeon.
But those five years suddenly don't matter -
the only thing that matters, the only thing between you and the rest of your career
is a test in a random hotel, in a random city, with a random examiner asking you random questions.
Nervous? You should be.

Kindergarten. High school. College. Med school. Residency.
It all leads to this moment.

Some people can crack under the pressure, others thrive.
Either way, there's nothing left to do. No more studying, no more preparing.
Like it or not, the moment has arrived. The only thing left for you to do, is show up.

**클쓰가 멜에게 바람핀 남편에 대해
I wouldn't want Owen to leave me for that.

Everything isn't so perfectly right

or perfectly wrong.

**S8e22
Carpe diem.

That was hell.

How annoying is carpe diem?

How are you supposed to plan a life,

a career, a family,

if you're always carpe-ing the diem?
If we all seized every moment of every day, there wouldn't be doctors.
Who would sit through Med school? We'd all be too busy, living in the now.

Whatever that means.

I'll admit, the Romans had a point.
You gotta live life.
And living means that every morning,
when you wake up, you have to choose.

It means seizing what life offers in the moment and forging ahead,
no matter the weather...
or closing the curtains, and shutting out the day.

**s8e23

So, there's this bird. Some sort of swallow I think.
Every September, thousands of them ditch rainy Seattle to winter in Mexico.
These birds aren't dumb.
And every year, crowds of people gather around Seattle
to drink beer and watch the flocks take off.
They call it the Great Migration.

I don't know how those birds do it.
Travel thousands of miles without getting lost.
Banging into windows, being eaten by cats.

But every spring, they're always here.
I guess they come back to what they know.
People say it's pretty cool, watching them go.

They say you can actually
see the moment when,
at some mysterious signal, all at once the birds decide to leave.

So maybe I've been missing out.
Whatever... there's always next year.

***board 떨어진 에이프릴에게 캘리가
에이프릴-I failed my boards.I have nothing to celebrate.

Boo-hoo.
Oh, poorbig whoopy fails her test.

Big whoop, okay? I got
fired from chief resident,

then I got fired from this hospital.

Oh, my husband cheated on me.
And then he died.

So I didn't think I was
gonna ever be happy again.

But now my life is pretty damn great.

So you're having a rough time.
It's nothing.

It's a blip.

And in the meantime, you're
missing your moment.

You survived residency.

Stop and celebrate that.

'Cause life... changes in an instant.

It turns on a dime.

One minute you're miserable,

and then the next...

You've met the most amazing
woman in the world

and are in love.

This moment, your moment,

it only happens once.

Oh, and the duck

is freakin' amazing.

Hey.

Mark?

What happened?

**s8e24
A month ago, you were in med school being taught by doctors. Today, you are the doctors.
The seven years you spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst of your life.
You will be pushed to the breaking point. Eight of you will switch to an easier specialty.

Five of you will crack under the pressure. Two of you will be asked to leave.
This is your starting line. This is your arena. How well you play? That’s up to you.

The years we spend as surgical residents will be the best and worst of our lives.
We will be pushed to our breaking point.
This is the starting line. This is our arena.
How well we play, that’s up to us.

**s9e1
Dying changes everything. There is the emotional fallout, sure. But there's also the practical stuff. Who's going to do your job? Who's going to take care of your family? The only good thing for you is you don't have to worry about it. People you never knew will be living in your house, working your job. The world just keeps on going. Without you. They say death is hardest on the living.q

It’s tough to actually say goodbye.
Sometimes it’s impossible.
You never really stop feeling the loss.

It’s what makes things so bittersweet. We leave little bits of ourselves behind, little reminders.
A lifetime of memories, photos, trinkets. Things to remember us by, even when we're gone.

**S9E2
“I had this memory game when I was a kid.
A bunch of cards, face down, in rows.
Each card has a picture.
You turn one over, look at it,
then you turn it back over.
Then you have to try and remember
where its matching card was.
Sometimes you have no idea.
And other times it shows us exactly
what we need to see.
The cards seem completely out of order
and random. But you keep turning them over...
and the more cards you see,
you get a sense of how everything fits together.
This is a place where horrible things happen.
You were right to go.
You're probably escaping disaster.
Look at me.
I practically grew up here, and you're right,
it's hurt me in ways
I'll probably never get over.
I have a lot of memories of people.
People I've lost forever.
But I have a lot of other memories too.
This is the place where I fell in love.
The place where I found my family.
This is where I learned to be a doctor.
Where I learned how to take responsibility
for someone else's life.
And it's the place I met you.
So I figure this place has given me
as much as it's taken from me.
I've lived here as much as I've survived here.
It just depends on how I look at it.
I'm gonna choose to look at it that way,
and remember you that way.
Hope you're good. Bye.”

**s9e3
I had this memory game when I was a kid. A bunch of cards, face down, in rows. Each card has a picture.

You turn one over, look at it, then you turn it back over. Then you have to try and remember where its matching card was.
Sometimes you have no idea. And other times it shows us exactly what we need to see.
The cards seem completely out of order and random. But you keep turning them over... and the more cards you see,
you get a sense of how everything fits together.

This is a place where horrible things happen. You were right to go. You're probably escaping disaster.

Look at me. I practically grew up here, and you're right, it's hurt me
in ways I'll probably never get over.
I have a lot of memories of people. People I've lost forever.

But I have a lot of other memories too.
This is the place where I fell in love.
The place where I found my family.
This is where I learned to be a doctor.

Where I learned how to take responsibility for someone else's life.
And it's the place I met you.
So I figure this place has given me as much as it's taken from me.
I've lived here as much as I've survived here.

It just depends on how I look at it.
I'm gonna choose to look at it that way, and remember you that way.
Hope you're good. Bye.

**비행기사고후 떠나려는 클쓰
No, I meant by leaving.

Are you sure you're okay with it?

Are you sure it's the right thing to do?

Meredith, not you, too.
Owen just tried to...

Well, yeah, because I'm worried
that you're just running away.

Well, yeah, I am. I'm fleeing,
like bambi from a forest fire,

and so should you,
'cause horrible things happen here.

No, something horrible happened,

and we should stick together.

You know what? We have stuck together.

And we've grown together,
like two gnarled trees

twining around each other,
trying to survive.

Survive what? Cristina, this is life.

Bad things happen. It's hard.

You find your people,

you find your person,
and you lean on them.

Oh, god love you, Mer.

You know, so many horrible
things have happened to you,

and maybe you're okay with it,

but you shouldn't be.

Go to Harvard,

anywhere except here,

seeing your dead sister
around every corner.

Hey, your mother died here.
Your husband was shot here.

George died here.

It's my life, and
you were here for it, too.

I mean, now you sound like
the same scary loner bitch

who rode in here on a
motorcycle five years ago.

Like the past five years
has never happened?

Well, you know,
a part of me wishes it hadn't.

Oh, okay. Well,
then you should just go then.

And you should not look back. Go.

Meredith...

No, you know, Cristina, you're right.
I'm not your person.

And Owen isn't your person.

Your person is you,
and it always has been.

*********************

**s9e3

“Surgeons don't compromise. We defy death, we exceed perfection.
We operate for seventeen hours straight if we have to.

We aren't built to settle, but that doesn't mean we won't.

When we follow our hearts, when we choose not to settle,
it's funny. Isn't it? A weight lifts, the sun shines a little brighter,
and, for a brief moment at least, we find a little peace

***
Speak up, voice
If don't agree with my approach, I wish Voice your issue.

**s6e6

In order to get a good diagnosis, doctors have to constantly change their perspective. We start by getting the patient’s point of view, though they often don’t have a clue what’s going on. So we look at the patient from every possible angle. We rule things out. We uncover new information, trying to get to what’s actually wrong. We’re asked for second opinions, hoping we’ll see something others might have missed. For the patient, a fresh perspective can mean the difference between living and dying. For the doctor, it can mean you’re picking a fight with everyone who got there before you. When we're headed toward an outcome that's too horrible to face, that's when we go looking for a second opinion. And sometimes, the answer we get just confirms our worst fears. But sometimes, it can shed new light on the problem, make you see it in a whole new way. After all the opinions have been heard and every point of view has been considered, you finally find what you're after - the truth. But the truth isn't where it ends, that's just where you begin again with a whole new set of questions.

**s9e4

“The clothes a surgeon wears help to present an image.
The lab coats and badges and scrubs all work together to indicate a person of authority, someone you can trust.
When the clothes come off, that's a different story.

We're sensitive, vulnerable, human and just as prone to questionable judgement as anybody else.

It might be hard for a surgeon to admit, but there's no shame in simply being human.
It can be a relief to stop hiding, to accept who you really are and let the world see you that way, too.
A little self-awareness never hurt anybody.
Because when you know who you are, it's easier to know what you're about, and ultimately, what you really need.

**s9e5
Sometimes, things are simply out of your control.

You can't change them. You can't bend them to your will.
It doesn't matter if you're already forty-five minutes late, if your hair isn't brushed,
you haven't fixed breakfast and you're hemorrhaging brain cells by the second while you sit here.
Dying, dying inside.”

— Meredith

**s9e4
Doctors have never had all the answers. There was a time when you were sick,
we'd just drain your blood like you were getting an oil change.

We're constantly having to rethink what we thought was true and redefine it.

It can be scary to find out you've been wrong about something
but we can't be afraid to change our minds, to accept that things are different, that they'll never be the same, for better or for worse.
We have to be willing to give up what we used to believe.
The more we're willing to accept what is and not what we thought,
we'll find ourselves eqxactly where we belong.

**s9e7
I Was Made for Lovin' You

“Can two people really be meant to be? M.F.E.O. Soulmates. It would be nice if it's true.
That we all have someone out there waiting for us. Us waiting for them.
I'm just not sure I believe it. Maybe I do believe it, all this "meant to be" stuff.

Why not believe it, really? Who doesn't want more romance in their life?

Maybe it's just up to us to make it happen. To show up and be meant for each other.
At least that way you'll find out for sure. If you're meant to be or not.

**s9e8
Most people hate hospitals. But not the interns. For them, a hospital is a magical place.
It's poetic, the rhythm of the machines, the crackle on the trauma gown, it's a place full of promise, excitement, surprises.
It's a place where dreams can come true.

There don't have to be harps playing, or birds singing, or rose petals falling from the sky.

And there are definitely days when the romance is dead… but if you look around, things are pretty amazing.
So stop for a second, enjoy the beauty, feel the magic, drink it in
because it won't last forever.
The romance will fade, things will happen, people will change, love will die but maybe not today.

**s9e9
“The adrenal system reacts to stress by releasing hormones that make us alert and reactive.
The problem is, the adrenal system can't tell what's a regular case of nerves, and what's real impending disaster.

The body doesn't know the difference between nerves and excitement, panic and doubt, the beginning and the end.
The body just tells you to get the hell out.
Sometimes you ignore it… That's the reasonable thing to do.

But sometimes you listen;
you're supposed to trust your gut. Right?
When your body says run… Run!

**s9e10
In order to properly treat a problem, a surgeon needs as much information as she can get.
So we ask questions.
Questions like, "When did the pain begin? Have you experienced these symptoms before?
Do you have a family history? Are you currently sexually active? Have you recently undergone surgery?"
If you're unwilling or unable to answer these and other questions, we're forced to rely on tests for insight.

Until those test results come back, there's nothing we can do but wait.

The next time you're in your doctor's office, remember-
she's not asking all those questions for her health.
She's asking them for yours. Tell her everything.
The small details aren't trivial.
They actually make the story.
There's no rush.
Take all the time you need.
Start at the beginning.”

**s9e11
The big day is here. The day you're gonna hear the news, the test result.
Is the biopsy malignant or benign? Am I gonna live or die?
You just want to know, even if the news is scary, because then you can move on.
Whatever that means.

They say ignorance is bliss
because once you know about the tumor or the prognosis,
you can’t go back.

Will you be strong or will you fall apart?
It's hard to predict, so don’t worry about it.
Enjoy the time you have before the news comes.

Yep, ignorance is bliss.

'
**S9e12
Patients who undergo an amputation often feel a sensation
where the missing limb was as if it's still there.
The syndrome is called phantom limb.
It's as if the body can't accept that a terrible trauma has occurred.
The mind is trying to make the body complete again.
Patients who experience phantom limb report
many different sensations but by far the most common is pain.

The body can be stubborn when it comes to accepting change.
The mind holds out hope that the body can be whole again
and the mind will always fight for hope, tooth and nail,

until it finds a way of understanding its new reality
and accepts that what is gone is gone forever.”

**s9e14
I'm not big into change. In oncology, when a normal cell changes into something malignant, it's called cellular transformation. The damn cells turn toxic right in front of your eyes. So, as far as I am concerned, transformation sucks. Change is a funny thing and not everyone can handle it. It can sneak up on you. Things aren't what they used to be. Your whole world has transformed. You realize the ground beneath you has shifted. Things are uncertain and there's no turning back. The world around you is different now, unrecognizable, and there's nothing you can do about it. You're stuck. Your future is staring you in the face and you’re not sure you like what you see. Like I said, I'm not big into change.”

**s9e15
They say there's one sure sign of a successful negotiation.
It's that when the parties leave the table,
they feel like they have been screwed.

The goal is a compromise, a situation where everybody wins.

They say that negotiation is an art form.
Yet, when we negotiate, we have a strategy.
We use tactics.
"Strategies" and "tactics" aren't words
we use for seeking a compromise.
These are words for going to war.

**s9e16
There is a procedure to treat epilepsy that involves
surgically severing the connection between the left
and right brain.
The goal is to block signals that cause seizures.
The problem is this also cuts off the brain's ability
to communicate with itself.

The left side has no idea what the right side is up to.

They patient may experience problems
with coördination,
memory, speech.

It's a drastic solution that's only considered
when all other options have failed,
because once a surgeon makes that cut,
there's no going back.

There's a reason surgeons are willing
to roll the dice on a risky, go-for-broke,
point-of-no-return surgery
with potentially devastating consequences.

Sometimes, it works.

**s9e17

To a critically ill patient, an organ transplant means a new
start, a second chance. But the body is designed to fight off
any outside invader. Even one that's trying to save it. Because
a transplant doesn't guarantee that it's an easier life. There's a
threat that the body will reject the organ outright. The
transplant process is very scary. A patient goes from worrying
about getting an organ to worrying if the organ will be
rejected. The anxiety continues until they can finally open their
eyes after surgery and see that their gift has been accepted.
Meredith Grey

**s9e20
Patients say it all the time: 'Tell me straight up. I just want to know what's going on. Tell me, I can handle it.'

We don't dodge your questions because we're mean.
We do it because when you say you want the truth, you have no idea what you're talking about.

They say the truth will set you free.
What the hell do they know?
The truth is horrible. Frightening.

The truth is more than you can bear.

We're supposed to be straight with you,
so be careful what you ask for when you walk into a hospital.
Because when you find out what's really going on, you may never recover.

**s9e23

“They hit you out of nowhere.
When bad things come, they come suddenly, without warning.
We rarely get to see the catastrophe coming,
no matter how well we try to prepare for it.

We do our very best, but sometimes, it's just not good enough.
We buckle our seat belts, we wear a helmet, we stick to the lighted paths.

We try to be safe. We try so hard to protect ourselves, but it doesn't make a damn bit of difference, 'cause when the bad things come, they come out of nowhere.

The bad things come suddenly, with no warning.
But we forget that sometimes,
that's how the good things come too.

**s9e24

I had this badass professor in med school. She seemed invincible.
Then, one day, she needed her gallbladder out.
And the surgery killed her. Her platelets stopped clotting.
She bled out on the table. Everything that could have gone wrong,
did go wrong. Surgeons have a name for it.
We call it a perfect storm. Funny. Never thought it would happen to me.

There's an end to every storm.
Once all the trees have been uprooted,
once all the houses have been ripped apart,
the wind will hush,
the clouds will part,
the rain will stop.
The sky will clear in an instant and only then,
in those quiet moments after the storm,
do we learn who was strong enough to survive it.

**s10e1

When you become an intern, there's a ceremony
where you get your white coat. Like magic, you're a doctor.
My parents came to my white coat ceremony.
I can still picture them. So happy, so proud.

They say your life flashes before your eyes right before you die.
The important moments. The moments that tested you.
The moments that made you who you are. I don't know about my life flashing before me. I was thinking about my white coat and how I'm glad I have it on me right now. It's the moment my life started. Seems fitting it should be on me when it ends. A doctor puts on his white coat to save lives, defy death. But once he takes it off, he's vulnerable, just like anybody else. Human. We're all gonna die. We don't get much say over how or when, but we do decide how we're gonna live. So do it, decide. Is this the life you wanna live? Is this the person you wanna love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate? Decide. Breathe in, breathe out, and decide

**s10e2

The waiting can kill you. You make a decision and then the world has to turn.
The consequences unfold, out of your hands.
There's only one thing that seems clear
in those quiet moments while you wait:
whatever you choose, was wrong.

We just wanna survive the storm.
We pray,
please God, just get me to the other side.
We never imagine what it will be like when we get there.
What if, when the storm passes, nothing's left?
I always said I could handle anything.
I was wrong.
I was wrong about a lot of things.

But I was right about one thing: I was right about this.

**s10e3
There is this playground game that kids play.
They lock hands and on the count of three,
they try to snap each others fingers off.
You hold out as long as you can
or at least longer than the other guy.
The game doesn't end
until someone says stop, gives up, cries mercy.
It isn't a fun game.

In the game of mercy, when one kid cries out,
the other one listens and the pain stops.

Don't you wish
it was that easy now?

It's not a game anymore and we're not kids.
You can cry mercy all you want,
but nobody's listening.
It's just you,
screaming into a void.

**s11e8
“Nobody's memory is perfect or complete.
We jumble things up.
We lose track of time.
We're in one place, then another,
and it all feels like one long,
inescapable moment.
It's just like my mother used to say:
the carousel never stops turning.
Nobody's memory is perfect or complete.
We jumble things up.
We lose track of time.
We're in one place, then another,
and it all feels like one long, inescapable moment.
So what does it mean?
What do we take away?
Which pieces will haunt us?
Hurt us? End us? Inspire us?
It's just like my mother used to say.
The carousel never stops turning.
You can't get off.”

**s11e9

“When exposed to trauma,
the body deploys its own defense system.
From the first second
the brain receives the signal that
a catastrophe has happened,
the blood rushes to the organs that need help the most.
Blood floods into the muscles,
the lungs, the heart, the brain.
The brain makes a decision
for the rest of the body.
Either face the danger or run away.
It's a mechanism designed to protect the body from harm.
From knowing that what has happened might be irreparable,
we call it 'shock'.

When shock wears off,
when the body can accept
that a trauma has happened,

when it can let down its defences,

it's a scary moment.
It's vulnerable.

The shock response had protected us,
and it just might have saved us.”

**s11e11
There's a thing we say when someone dies.
We say it to the patient's family.
We say, "I'm sorry for your loss.
" It's a pat little phrase and an empty one.
It doesn't begin to cover what's actually happening to them.

It lets us empathize without forcing us
to feel their devastation ourselves.
It protects us from feeling
that pain, that dark, sinking, relentless pain.
The kind that can eat you alive.
And every day, I thank God for that.

We can't get too close.
If we felt even little of the joy and the hopes
that our patients are saying goodbye to,

we'd never be able to function.

So we say, "We're sorry for your loss."
and we hope it offers something.
Some little bit of support.
Some bit of peace.
Some bit of closure.
Something good.
Some little piece of beauty
in the midst of some place dark.
An unexpected gift, just when it's needed most.

**S11E12
Everybody has something to hide.
We can't just expose all our secrets to the world.
That's how we get hurt.
That's how we risk hurting other people.
We have to decide how much we let out and
keep the truth to ourselves.
It's scary to reveal everything about ourselves.
Fear makes us hold ourselves back.
Is that so wrong? Maybe. Probably.
But still.
It helps to be a little sneaky, a little protective.
It's not safe to just blurt out all of your secrets.
We can't just lay all the truth out there.
Expose ourselves to God and everybody.
'Cause once the truth is out, we have to face it ourselves.

**s11e15
“Your kids. Your keys. Your family photo album.
It's the list you repeat in your head before you fall asleep.
It's the short list of things you'd grab in case of disaster.
The list makes you feel in control. Your kids. Your keys. Your family photo album. When the fire starts, when the tsunami hits, when the earth literally quakes, do you remember your list? Or do you just duck and cover? That list of things you'd grab in a disaster, Your kids. Your keys. Your family photo album. That list goes out the window when the disaster starts with you wondering if this must be the woman who's been screwing your husband. That's a whole 'nother earthquake.

& 1
**s11e16
We teach residents when you hear hoofbeats, think horses,
not zebras. It means that the most obvious answer is usually right.
It keeps doctors from heading down the wrong path.
It helps us stick to the truth. It helps us save lives.
It's part of what makes me a good surgeon.

When I hear hoofbeats, horses. I always think horses.
Even when I shouldn't. J
Things are not always what they appear to be.
They're often an indicator
of something bigger going on, deep underneath .
Symptoms. Red flags. Warning signs.
Things we should pay attention to.
Things we shouldn't ever ignore.
Things that are bad.
Things that could really hurt us.
Things that it might be just too late to fix.

***S11E7
There's this thing I used to do
when I was a kid, to my mother's VCR.
I'd take it apart, piece by piece,
then put it back together again.

But inevitably, there was always a piece or two left over,
something I didn't quite know what to do with.
So what do you do with that piece?
Do you try to fit it back in?
Do you try to make it work?
Or do you decide you can live without that missing piece?
When we go without certain things long enough,
it's easy to forget just how much we need them.
We forget what we had once.
We forget what it's like to live with a thing,
not that we need, but that we want.
That's why it's so important for us to remind ourselves,
for us to remember,
just because we can live without something,
it doesn't mean we have to.

**S11E18
Picture the life you dreamed of living.
The person you pictured being with.
Picture the job you dreamed you'd have.
Are you living the life you envisioned for yourself?
Are you who you wanted to be when you grew up?

Open your eyes. Take a good look around you.
How's the view? Do you like what you see?
Think back again to
when you were little.
Are you living the life you pictured for yourself?
Or are you still dreaming of something even bigger?

**S11E19
Love. Neuroscience tells us it activates
the same parts of the brain as habit-forming addiction.
It makes us feel like we can do anything, be anything,
achieve anything. And once we taste it, we want more.

The thing about love is, when it's good, it's so very good,
and when it's bad, it hurts so much.

And if you can't find a way to balance all those ups
and down, it will make you crazy.

**s11e20
“A surgical residency is all about training for the worst.
But, as prepared as we might be,
we usually don’t see disaster coming.
We can try to envision the worst-case scenario,
to foresee catastrophe.
But, when true disaster strikes,
it often comes out of nowhere.
And when the worst really does happen,
we find ourselves completely blindsided.
Why do bad things happen to good people?
We ask that question so often, it's become a cliché,
but that's because bad things do happen
to good people constantly.
You just have to hope that when it's your turn,
you'll know what to do, how to cope, how to persevere.

But the truth is, you don't know how you'll react
to your worst-case scenario.
None of us do. Not until it happens.

**s11e23 데릭죽음직후
I have to believe there's a way.
There has to be a way to step off the carousel.
Start again. Start fresh.
There has to be a way to leave all my ghosts behind.
It's a choice.
It's a choice I'm making.
To move forward.
To move past this.
I can do that. I can do that.
All I have to do is begin.

**s11e24
Time stops when you’re in the O.R.
You step up to the table,
you evaluate the patient,
you pick up a scalpel,
and then you go into a bubble.

It’s just you and your surgery and nothing else matters;
not time, not pain, not exhaustion, nothing.
It happens in real life too.
When something big happens,
something tragic, you freeze,
you retreat into your happy bubble for what seems like a second,

until you look up.
And suddenly, you realize
it's a whole new world.

How do you step back into the world?
It’s scary.
Time stood still and now it’s speeding by.
You’re looking for a lifeboat, something to give you hope.
But are you really ready
to leave your happy little bubble
and step back out into the big, blinding, bloody, terrible world?
Are you ready to achieve the impossible?

**s11e25
I remember once in school someone saying
I came from a broken home.
That’s what they used to call it
when your parents got divorced,
even though getting divorced was the least broken they ever did.
When I heard that as a kid,
I wondered
if broken homes were where broken people lived.
It was silly, I mean I was just a little kid.
But, to this day I still wonder.
You can build a house out of anything,
make it as strong as you want,
but a home, a home is more fragile than that.
A home is made of the people
you fill it with and people can be broken,
sure,
but any surgeon knows what's broken can be mended,
what's hurt can be healed,
that no matter how dark it gets, the sun's gonna rise again.

**s12e1

So you might be thinking, I’ve been here before.
This is familiar. This is old hat.
Maybe you’re wondering why we are here.
But I promise, you are about to find out
that everything has changed.

I want you to stop and take a closer look at the human body. There's nothing special about it. It's just a body. So why are you here? What's so different? What's changed?
My answer is you.
The thing's that changed is you.
I want you to throw everything
you think you know
about anatomy out the window
and look at this cadaver like you've never seen
a human body before.

Now pick up your scalpels,
place them below the xiphoid process,
press firmly, no regrets, and let's begin.

**s12e2
The body has approximately eleven organ systems,
all doing different things at the same time.
In order to keep us functioning,
or, well, alive,
they need one voice, a leader, a master.
And in our brains, that job belongs to the pituitary gland. It senses the body's needs before they even arise, working non-stop. The pituitary gland communicates with all of the other glands, telling them when to produce the vital hormones we need to function. It keeps everything running smoothly, in perfect order. There's no denying it. It has the toughest job in the place. It's pretty simple. If the brain's working, the body will listen. Your limbs want to hold you up. Your lungs want to breathe. Your heart wants to beat. But none of them are any good without the brain. The brain keeps everything all together. Like a boss.

**s12e3
“The body is a bundle of possibility.
Every time we cut one open,
we're faced with a series of decisions.
Some choices are made for you.

But for the most part,
surgery is a choose your own adventure.
When you're faced with the tough choices,
it comes down to you.

What can you live with?
What can you leave behind?

Right or wrong, you have to decide
what you're willing to go down fighting for.
The choice is yours.”

**S12e4
“You might be surprised,
but anatomy classes can be uncomfortable for surgeons.
We're trained to put bodies back together.
We prefer our tissue warm, alive.
Usually when a surgeon is staring at dead tissue,
it means that something is very, very wrong.

There are some things in life that simply can't be avoided,
no matter how uncomfortable they make us
and there can be rewards
in stepping outside of your comfort zone.
Even when the thought of it makes us want to puke.

Even when we want nothing more than
to run screaming for the hills.

That's why people love to say that
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
But sometimes,
those people don't know what the hell they're talking about.”

** S12E9 멜 환자에게 구타

“In group settings, men are 75% more likely
to speak up than women.
And when a woman does speak up,
it's statistically probable
her male counterparts will either interrupt her,
or speak over her.
It's not because they're rude, it's science.
The female voice is scientifically
proven to be more difficult for a male brain to register.
What does this mean?
It means, in this world,
where men are bigger, stronger, faster,
if you're not ready to fight,
the silence will kill you.
Don't let fear keep you quiet.

You have a voice.
So use it.
Speak up.
Raise your hands.
Shout your answers.
Make yourself heard.
Whatever it takes.
Just find your voice
and when you do,
fill the damn silence.”

**s14e2

“There's a saying
we hear a lot around hospitals
that goes like this:
"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
But I doubt the person who coined
it ever went through major surgery.
Or maybe they didn't mean physical pain.
Maybe they meant the other kind,
the worse kind.
Maybe they meant the kind of searing, seething,
boiling pain that tells you you're a failure and a fraud.
Suffering is optional.
That person didn't know what the…they were talking about.

As surgeons, we try to eliminate pain.
As humans, we try like hell to avoid it.

When we can't avoid pain,
we try to understand
it with pithy little quotes that we can wrap our heads around,
like "suffering is optional", or "time heals all wounds".
And my personal favorite, "Every pain has a purpose."
God, I hope that one's true.”

**s14e3
“I am going to tell you a secret.
Doctors are not gods.
We like you to think we have all the answers.
You have to trust us enough to let us cut open your flesh and poke around in your insides,
so it's helpful if you think we have it all together.
It's helpful if you don't know that just like you,
we're anxious, we're insecure, we're angry.
You have to let us come at you with a scalpel.
So it's helpful if you don't know that just like you,
we're wrecks.

So, how do we do it?
How do we save lives when ours may be falling apart?
Well, for one thing, we never perform surgery without an assist.
We look at the case, we gather the team, and accept we don't have to go it alone.”

**s14e4
“There are 100 billion neuron
in the human brain making and re-making connections.
Helping us with math.
Remembering our keys,
our dad's voice.
Working hard all the time.
So when the brain is faulty,
it's a big re-wiring job and there's no margin for error.

When you're going into surgery, you worry you won't wake up.
But with brain surgery, you worry you will wake up but you won't be there when you do. The trouble with crossed wires is you don't know they happened until it's too late.
So we have to be very careful with our connections.
They take time, care, and attention. They take vigilance and single-mindedness.
We reconnect everything we can as carefully as we can.
And then we just have to pray to God that we got it right.”

***알렉스
My judgment has improved with age.
*********

**s14e6
“Superheroes. Soldiers. First responders.
That’s who we think of when we think of bravery.
But surgeons should make the list too.

Surgeons don’t wear capes or armor.
We don’t carry guns and no one throws us a parade,

but we do fight like hell to save your life.

And we’re also holding a knife in our hands,
knowing we might be the one to end your life.

Bravery isn’t always about running into the fire.

Sometimes it’s about facing our past.
And on the hardest days, it’s about facing the future.”

**s14e7
“Surgeons are scientists, trained to believe only in
that which we can see and touch.
But that training doesn't always take.

Scientist or not,
most of us who've been at this a while are forced to acknowledge
the mysteries of life.

We're forced to acknowledge
that certain kinds of magic exist.

And that history, and memory,
and the ghosts of our past,
are sometimes just as tangible
as anything we can hold in our hands.”

**s14e8
“There are some disasters you just don't see coming,
no matter how carefully you plan.
A little surprise that changes everything.

In surgery, we call it a complication.
In life, it's a catastrophe.

In surgery, we call it a complication,
a disruption, a glitch, a nasty surprise.
It calls for extreme measures.
You have to react quickly, try to catch up,
because it came out of nowhere.
And it can take everything away.”

**s14e12

“We've all heard the quote:
"Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration."
Easy for Thomas Edison to say.
He had all the good ideas.
Inspiration is not some mystical, unattainable thing.

Inspiration is a seed.
That seed turns into vision.
That vision turns into a goal.
And hopefully, that goal turns into victory.
I said, hopefully.”

**s14e13

“The longest surgery on record lasted for four days straight.
A team of surgeons rotated in and out, holding scalpels for sometimes 18 hours at a stretch.

Try holding anything in your hand for 18 hours.
Now imagine you're also holding a human life.
When you hold on to anything for too long,
your muscles conform to the position you're holding.
That applies to the heart and the mind,
as well as the hand.
The pain you know is coming is
what makes it easier to just keep holding on.”

**s14e14
“For surgeons, every day is game day.
We've trained. We've practiced.
We know the rules.

Unlike the laws of science,
the rules of life aren't always clear.

Some rules are unwritten.
Some rules are open to interpretation.

And just when we think we have a handle on the rules,
something comes along
that totally changes the game.”

**s14e15
“On average, a healthy heart beats 115,000 times per day.
When excited, the heart rate can double.

The heart pumps 2,000 gallons of blood
through your entire body 24 hours a day.
It never rests.

The heart is the hardest-working muscle in your body.
But when it’s damaged, it’s just like skin.

It scars, and scar tissue can be very dangerous in a heart.
It weakens it.
And eventually, a heart full of scars stops working.

Scarred hearts don’t heal,
but over time,
the scars can change.

They can become smoother, softer.
And some scars can even fade away.”

**s14e16
The first surgeons were vivisectionists.
When they opened a body,
they had no intention of closing it.
They just wanted to see what was inside.
And what they found was a world of possibility.
The possibility to heal, to reverse the damage, to turn back time.

When the worst of our fears are realized,
when everything we’ve counted on has disappeared,
something still drives us to try to fix the past,
or to find our future,

when the only thing
that needs our attention is the present.
And its infinite possibilities.”

**S4E3
Doctors give patients a number of things.
We give them medicine,
we give them advice,
and most of the time,
we give them our undivided attention.

But, by far, the hardest thing you can give a patient is the truth.

The truth is hard.

The truth is awkward,
and very often, the truth hurts.

I mean, people say they want the truth, but do they really?

The truth is painful.

Deep down nobody wants to hear it,
especially when it hits close to home.

Sometimes we tell the truth
because the truth is all we have to give.

Sometimes we tell the truth
because we need to say it out loud
to really hear it for ourselves.

And sometimes we tell the truth
because we just can't help ourselves.

And sometimes, we tell them,
because we owe them at least that much.”

**S4E4

“In life only one thing is certain, apart from death and taxes:
No matter how hard you try, no matter how good your intentions,
you are going to make mistakes.
You are going to hurt people.
You are going to get hurt.
And if you ever want to recover,
there's really only one thing you can say.

Forgive and forget.
That's what they say.
It's good advice, but it's not very practical.

When someone hurts us,
we want to hurt them back.

When someone wrongs us,
we want to be right.

Without forgiveness
old scores are never settled.
Old wounds never heal,
and the most we can hope for
is that one day
we'll be lucky enough to forget.”

**s4e5
There’s a reason
surgeons learn to wield scalpels.
We like to pretend we’re hard, cold scientists.
We like to pretend we're fearless.
But the truth is we become surgeons
because somewhere deep down
we think we can cut away
that which haunts us.
Weakness, frailty, death.

It isn't just surgeons.
The truth is I don't know anyone
who isn't haunted by something or someone.
And whether we try to slice the pain away with a scalpel or shove it in the back of a closet- our efforts usually fail. So the only way we can clear out the cobwebs is to turn a new page or put an old story to rest - finally, finally to rest.”

**s4e6
“There’s this thing about being a surgeon.
Maybe it’s pride or
maybe it’s just about being tough.
But a true surgeon never admits they need help
unless absolutely necessary.
Surgeons don’t need to ask for help
because they’re tougher than that.
Surgeons are cowboys.
Rough around the edges.
Hardcore.
At least, that’s what they want you to think.

Deep down, everyone wants to believe they can be hardcore.
But being hardcore isn't just about being tough -
it's about acceptance.

Sometimes you have to give yourself permission
to not be hardcore for once.

You don't have to be tough every minute of every day.
It's okay to let down your guard.
In fact, there are moments
when it's the best thing you can possibly do -

as long as you choose your moments wisely.”

**s4e7

“Before we were doctors,
we were med students,
which meant we spent a lot of time of studying chemistry.
Organic chemistry, biochemistry, we learned it all.

But when you're talking about human chemistry
only one thing matters:
either you've got it or you don't. C
hemistry, either you've got it or you don't.”

**s4e9

“We go into medicine because we want to save lives.
We go into medicine because we want to do good.
We go into medicine for the rush... for the high... for the ride.
But, what we rememeber at the end of most days are the losses.
What we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused or failed to cure.
The lives we ruined or failed to save.

So the experience of practicing medicine
rarely resembles the goal.
The experience too often is ass backwards
and upside-down.”

**s4e10
At the end of the day,
the experience of practicing medicine
bears little resemblance to the dream.

We go into medicine because we want to save lives.
We go into medicine because we want to do good.
We go into medicine for the rush... for the high... for the ride.
But, what we rememeber at the end of most days are the losses.
What we lay awake at night replaying is the pain we caused.
The ills we couldn't cure.

The lives we ruined or failed to save.
At the end of the day, the reality is nothing like we hope.
The reality is, at the end of the day, more often than not,
turned inside out and upside down.

Some days, the whole world seems upside down.
And then, somehow, improbably and when you least expect it,
the world rights itself again.”

**s4e11

“In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the earth, at least that’s what they say. He created the birds of the air and the beasts of the field, and he looked at his creation and he saw that it was good. And then God created man, and it’s been downhill ever since. The story goes on to say that God created man in his own image, but there’s not much proof of that. After all God made the sun and the moon and the stars, and all man makes is trouble. And when man finds himself in trouble, which is most of the time, he turns to something bigger than himself. To love or faith or religion to make sense of it all. But for a surgeon, the only thing that makes any kind of sense is medicine. As doctors, we know more about the human body now than at any point in our history. But the miracle of life itself; why people live and die, why they hurt or get hurt is still a mystery. We want to know the reason, the secret, the answer at the back of the book…because the thought of our being all alone down here is just too much for us to bear. But at the end of the day, the fact that we show up for each other, in spite our differences, no matter what we believe, is reason enough to keep believing.”

**s4e12

“We like to think that we are rational beings; humane, conscientious,
civilized, thoughtful.
But when things fall apart, even just a little, it becomes clear
we are not better than animals.

We have opposable thumbs, we think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream, but deep down we are still routing around in the primordial ooze; biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold,
dark world like the rest of the tree-toads and sloths.

There’s a little animal in all of us
and maybe that’s something to celebrate.
Our animal instinct is what makes us
seek comfort,
warmth, a pack to run with.

We may feel caged, we may feel trapped,
but still as humans
we can find ways to feel free.

We are each other’s keepers,
we are the guardians of our own humanity,

and even though there’s a beast inside all of us,

what sets us apart
from the animals
is
that we can think, feel, dream and love.
And against all odds,
against all instinct,
we evolve.”

**s4e13

“Great surgeons aren't made,
they're born.
It takes gestation, incubation, sacrifice.
A lot of sacrifice.
But after all the blood and guts and gooey stuff is washed away,
that surgeon you've become? Totally worth it.

Giving birth may be all intense and magical and stuff,
but the act itself is not exactly pleasant.
But it's also a beginning of something incredible,
something new, something unpredictable, something true, something worth loving, something worth missing, something that will change your life forever.”

**s1e3

“We live out our lives on the surgical unit.
Seven days a week, fourteen hours a day.
We're together more than we're apart.
After a while - the ways of residency - become the ways of life.

Number one: always keep score.
Number two: do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy.
Number three: Don't make friends with the enemy.
Oh, and yeah,

number four: everything, everything is a competition.

Whoever said that winning wasn't everything never held a scalpel.

There's another way to survive this competition.
A way no one ever seems to tells you about.
One you have to learn for yourself.

Number five: it's not about the race at all.
There are no winners or losers.
Victories are counted
by the number of lives saved.
And once in a while,

if you're smart, the life you save could be your own.”

**s1e5

“Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like,
if you'd get a bike for your birthday
or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast?
Being an adult? Totally overrated.
I mean seriously,
don't be fooled by all the hot shoes
and the great sex
and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do.
Adulthood is responsibility.
Responsibility, it really does suck.
Really, really sucks.

Adults have to be places
and do things
and earn a living
and pay the rent.
And if you're training to be a surgeon,
holding a human heart in your hands,
hello? Talk about responsibility.
Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it?
The scariest part about responsibility?
When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.

Responsibility. It really does suck.

Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras,
responsibility doesn't go away.
It can't be avoided.

Either someone makes us face it
or we suffer the consequences.

And still adulthood has it perks.

I mean the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do.
That's, pretty damn good.”

**s1e6

“A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. “Never leave that till tomorrow,” he said, “Which you can do today.” This is the man who discovered electricity.

You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say.
I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you make a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true:
that by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it,
it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor.
And you thought I was speaking metaphorically.

The early bird catches the worm;
a stitch in time saves nine.

He who hesitates is lost.
We can't pretend we haven't been told.
We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers,
heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time,
heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'.
Still
sometimes we have to see for ourselves.

We have to make our own mistakes.
We have to learn our own lessons.

We have to sweep today's possibility
under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore,
until we finally understand for ourselves
what Benjamin Franklin meant.

That knowing is better than wondering,
that waking is better than sleeping.

And that even the biggest failure,
even the worst most intractable
mistake beats the hell out of never trying.”

**s1e7
“OK. Anyone who says you can sleep when you die,
tell them to come talk to me
after a few months as an intern.
Of course, it's not just the job that keeps us up all night.

I mean, if life's so hard already,
why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves?
What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?

Maybe we like the pain.
Maybe we're wired that way.
Because without it,
I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real.
What's that saying?
Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?
Because it feels so good when I stop.”

**s1e8
“You know how when you were a kid and
you believed in fairy tales?
That fantasy of what your life would be –
white dress, prince charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill.
You’d lie in your bed at night
and close your eyes
and you had complete and utter faith.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, prince charming –
they were so close you could taste them.
But eventually you grow up and one day
you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears.
Most people turn to the things and people they can trust.
But the thing is,
it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely
because almost everyone has
that smallest bit of hope and faith
that one day they would open their eyes
and it would all come true.

At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing.
It turns up when you don't really expect it.

Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale
may be slightly different than you dreamed.

The castle, well, it may not be a castle.
And it's not so important that it's happy ever after.
Just that it's happy right now.

See once in a while,
once in a blue moon,
people will surprise you,
and once in a while
people may even take your breath away.”

**s1e9
“Secrets can't hide in science.
Medicine has a way of exposing the lies.
Within the walls of the hospital,
the truth is stripped bare.
How we keep our secrets outside the hospital –
well, that’s a little different.

One thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide;
we're never ready for that moment
when the truth gets naked.

That's the problem with secrets –
like misery, they love company.

They pile up and up
until they take over everything,
until you don't have room for anything else,
until you're so full of secrets you feel like
you're going to burst.
The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free.
Whether good or bad,
at least they're out in the open, like it or not.
And once your secrets are out in the open,
you don't have to hide behind them anymore.
The problem with secrets is even
when you think you're in control, you're not.”

**s2e1
“To be a good surgeon you have to think like a surgeon.
Emotions are messy.
Tuck them neatly away
and step into a clean sterile room where the procedure is simple.
Cut, suture, and close.
But sometimes you’re faced with a cut that won’t heal.
A cut that rips its stitches wide open.
They say that practice makes perfect.

Theory is–
the more you think like a surgeon,
the more you become one,
the better you get at remaining neutral,
clinical, cut, suture, close -

the harder it becomes to turn it off.
To stop thinking like a surgeon,

and remember what it means to think like a human being.”

**s2e2
“I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything
for you she would say "Say when!"
My aunt would say "Say when!" and of course, we never did.

We don't say when
because there's something about the possibility, of more.

More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better.

There's something to be said about a glass half full.

About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line.
A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual.
And depends on what's being poured.

Sometimes all we want is a taste.
Other times there's no such thing as enough,
the glass is bottomless.

And all we want, is more.”

Pain comes in all forms.
The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain,
the normal pains that we live with everyday.
Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore.

A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else; makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... and for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it. Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more.”

."*Don't Stand So Close to Me
At the end of the day, when it comes down to it,
all we really want is to be close to somebody.
So this thing where we all keep our distance
and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull.
So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to,
and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by.
No matter how much we hurt them.
The people that are still with you at the end of the day,
those are the ones worth keeping.
And sure, sometimes close can be too close.
But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, 우
it can be exactly what you need

***Oh, the Guilt
First, do no harm. As doctors, we pledge to live by this oath.
But harm happens and then guilt happens.
And there is no oath for how to deal with that
Guilt never goes anywhere on its own,
it brings its friends - doubt and insecurity.
First do no harm, easier said than done.
We can take all the oaths in the world,
but the fact is, most of us do harm all the time.
Sometimes even when we're trying to help,
we do more harm than good.
And then the guilt rears its ugly head.
What you do with that guilt is up to you.
We're left with a choice.
Either let the guilt throw you back
into the behavior that got you
into trouble in the first place,
or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on.

***My Favorite Mistake
“Surgeons always have a plan.
Where to cut, where to clamp, where to stitch.
But, even with the best plans complications can arise, things can go wrong.
And suddenly, you're caught with your pants down.
The thing about plans is they don't take into account the unexpected, so when we're thrown a curve ball, whether its in the OR or in life, we have to improvise. Of course, some of us are better at it than others. Some of us just have to move on to plan B and make the best of it. And sometimes what we want is exactly what we need. But sometimes, sometimes what we need is a new plan.”